At my last appointment, I met with the Dr and he preferred to do a Loop Ileo for his own b-tard reasons. Now I'll have to have another surgery in the near future to do total collectomy, and he gave me the lovely statistics that 80% of Ileostomates need revision surgery for herniations, infections etc. Oh GOOD. After the hour long spiel and schematics explanation, I asked him where he'd place it and he pointed to BESIDE MY BELLY BUTTON. Um, fuck no.
The same appointment the ostomy nurse marked me, and she marked it really low beside my right hip. Well, like an inch horizontally from my hip bone. I LOVE where she marked it. If he ostomizes (yeah, it's a made-up word, shut it) me there, then I can still actually you know, wear clothes like a respectable human being. This is what I've been worrying over, as I have surgery in Seven daaayyyyysssss...... (said in creepy voice).
I mean, I'm hard-core worrying. I worry about recovery, yeah, because everyone says you're fucking fucked-up as shit afterward (I understand that, I had an 5 or 6-hour long colonic resection when I was 17, after all); fucked up like, your intestines are so swollen shut that you can't pass anything from your stupid ostomy for days. Sometimes even weeks. Oh joy. What young woman doesn't want to look as swollen as a basketball.
But mostly, I'm worried about placement. That can really make or break the rest of my "enjoyable" life for me. If this arrogant Dr doesn't place it where the ostomy nurse did, I'm fucked. Royally.
(Pic's where nurse marked it, clear tape peeling---->
Big scar from resection, little scars from 2nd endometriosis and lysis of adhestions Lap surgery in Feb)
The other scary thing about this is that every time I've gone to an appointment with him, I had a strong intuition about what was going to happen next. When I first met with him in December, we (my old mom and I) brought my old records and tests with. She being an RN along with other creds too many to list was convinced that this would be enough for him to scedual a surgery. I KNEW he was going to re-order all the tests again. And guess what? Bam. He did, that motherfucker. For the next 5 months I was put through hell as I did test after test for this sceptical asshole, as I lost more and more weight and became more and more dysfunctional until I'm at the point I am now, barely able to drink Ensure every damn day.
On our next visit, my mom was convinced again this would be enoguh for him. Nope. One more test, just as I predicted. Small bowel follow-through, with Gastrograffin instead of barium. (Ask your Dr about it, waaay better than Barium <3) That went fine, then two weeks later we were FINALLY able to secure a surgery date with him. But as I've predicted correctly everything that happened so far, I'm afraid that he is going to place it high. I have this terrible sinking feeling that he's going to place it where HE wants, not where the nurse marked it.