Thursday, December 29, 2011

Rectal Stump Suctioning & Stomal Stenosis

A month ago maybe, I had my rectal stump suctioned out at my Swedish surgeon's office. He's the incredibly intelligent dude who talks to you like you are a human being, but he doesn't hold your hand and certainly doesn't fuck around.
So some peeps who have a total colectomy, every 2 weeks or something they'll have rectal drainage. It's just a smidge of clear jelly, as your intestine is still creating and shedding its lining and all that. Well, mine doesn't feel like following orders and so I went to his office for suction time.
Friends, neighbors... back when I was a teenager before my large intestine resection, I had to bend over ass naked on this table and a Dr stuck a looooong scissors up my asshole and took a SNIPPET of the inside tissue to test for something whatever. I WAS STILL AWAKE. I was given NO DRUGS. I was given NO WARNING. I began to have Vasovagel reaction from the pain, high-pitched noise in my ears drowning-out all sounds, my vision clouded and white, my body's blood pressure plummeting alarmingly. Yeah. So that was pretty fucked up, but this suction thing wasn't as bad as that but still by no means do I recommend it.
It's heavy on the ass-rape, and as I've never been one to travel the road of the difficult brown, I didn't kin much to my Swedish surgeon finding out just how much pain I could tollerate before I broke down completely. It was like a Saw movie.
So they lie you on your side with a sheet covering just the unclothed bottom half, then jam a tube up your no-no, then flush some liquid junk into it and suction it back out. I was shaking the whole time from pain and doing this thing I do when I'm really really hurting, where I kind of growl through my teeth. I've never been a screamer. I've never gotten scared and screamed, not even on rollercoasters. On rollercoasters, I get really sarcastic and start saying shit like "Oh boy. Here comes the big drop. Oh good. Okay. Great. Looks fun." I've even had people tell me to shut the fuck up, and rightfully so. But I don't scream. I got my foot run over by a car once. I just kind of looked down and said really quietly "oh." Like I'd stepped in dog shit. No... I think if I'd have stepped in dog shit, I might have had more of a reaction than that. But anyway, I don't scream, and though I get many tears in my eyes, I don't cry. It's shit for the vocal chords, and it's annoying as fuck to scream. I heard kids screaming all the time in my old neighborhood--you try and tell me with a straight face the sound of high-pitched little kids screams at 7 am on a Saturday morning is ever EVER on your top list of cherished noises to burn on that CD of Songs to Listen to for Peaceful Living.
I can't even lie, I dreamily contemplated murder.

Oh yeah--and while I'm mentioning fun facts I forgot to mention earlier, back when I still had my le loop stoma, my uncaring bitch of a first surgeon (Dr Asshole) checked for stenosis (narrowing of the small intestine due to strictures/scar tissue) by shoving his bloated finger down into my goddamned stoma opening. I now know what it feel like to be raped in the stomach. And once inside, the fucker kind of wiggled it around too, you know, just for fun. It was a strange sensation, to say the least. Not necessarily painful, as in it didn't totally hurt, but it's an uncomfortable feeling to say the least, to have someone dig around inside your guts while you're un-anaesthetised and quite aware and watching.


  1. I can SOOO relate! My surgeon wanted to know exactly where my tumor was before my surgery, so he stuck a scope up my butt while I was awake. Not the end of the world for the average person, but when you have colitis, OH MY GOODNESS! I almost kicked him. I'm not a screamer either, but I was totally clutching that grab bar on the wall (No wonder it's there).

    I have to get my rectum checked out every few months until it's removed because the risk of new tumors (It's gotta go whether I have a take-down or not, but once it's gone, a takedown is no longer an option).

    Anyway, when I told him how painful it had been last time, he told me to have my GI take a peek while doing an upper endoscopy-- it pushed the next "awake" one back by 2 months. Good! Always better to have people stick cameras up your butt while you're knocked out!

    And I'm totally not a screamer either. You described my roller coaster reactions exactly. I cry. I yell if I'm surprised (but just once-- not ongoing). Even when I had my blockage, I wasn't screaming-- moaning yes, but no screaming. Even when the incompitant ER nurse tried to tunnel to china with the IV in my arm! (my mom had to tell him to give up and try another spot after almost ten minutes!)

    Oh, and I had the craziest idea today. I'm nominating myself for What Not to Wear. Not that I need the advice so much, but free clothes would be nice. Mostly, I want to raise ostomy awareness and want them to have several people (both male and female) with ostomies on the show so people can both see that you can have a normal life, and let people who have or will have ostomies see that there ARE clothes out there that will work for them-- and to educate them on what they are!
    Want to join in with me on the nomination?

  2. Oh god---IV's done by incompitant nurses... the dig aroudnthe flesh in your arm, grinding that needle through the tissue, draaaaagging it through your veins, swirling it around....

    I DO join in with you on this nomination! How does it work? I'll do whatever I can to help!

  3. I'm not sure if I even qualify for What Not to Wear since I'm not a US citizen (not sure why that matters, but they ask in the application). Also, it says they only take nominations for people they can surprise-- it has to be a secret. But I think for something like this, self-nomination is the only way to go. Lots of people with medical devices have so much shame or fear that a surprise nomination would be the worst thing in the world-- even for someone who would willingly go on the show if they had time to mentally prepare themself. Anyway, not sure if they'll go for it, but maybe they will-- TLC likes to do charitable things and help raise awareness, so maybe they'll go for it. And even if I don't qualify for the show myself, I still want to see this happen so people can get more comfortable with people who look a little different. And for those who are still hiding, at least they can find clothes that'll do a better job of hiding that stupid bag so they can get back to a more normal life!

    As for what to do to join in, at some point, I would need your contact info. I can start with just mine when I pitch the idea and say I have a friend (or friends if the people on the cancer support site choose to join in). Or I you can send your info and a bit of a backstory along with the original application. Up to you.

  4. I ready every post on your blog today. My boyfriend just recently had an ileostomy, and I came across your blog looking for some info that didn't read like a text book. It's helped me comprehend a little more what he's going through, since we live about 200 miles away from each other and I haven't been able to see him since he got out of the hospital. I just wanted to thank you for your no-nonsense info and opinions.

  5. To Nessabutterfly-- i most definitly agree with the clothing thing... and to Annonymus... I'm really glad to see you here! Hi there!
    Thank you so much for reading and i hope I've been a little bit informative. Whatever questions you have, please feel free to ask!!

  6. oh yea, been there and couldn't believe the violations my stoma was subjected too!!! Very freaky when I can't make myself turn away, like a damn autopsy carried out live in front of me. BLEH

  7. Oh god it simply looks horrible. I had been following your blog for so long and the pictures that you include in your posts are very much horrible. I mean I m simply scared of all these things. Hope so that god keeps everyone healthy and nobody need to face this type of painful disease.
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  8. Nice Blog, Thanks for sharing. People who find it really difficult to live life normally after Ostomy may also take help from the Ostomy bag that you can wear inside your cloths so that you can wear the dresses of your own choice without any tension.
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