Monday, December 5, 2011

Can I Dance With an Ileostomy? (And What Can I Wear??)




There are these wonderful and totally not lowbrow "dance" moves called Crunking, and Krumping, and Grinding and this thing that girls do where they kinda squat on the ground and then bring themselves back up with their ass in the air.

Yes my friends, you too can do this and more even with an ileostomy.

Some years ago, I decided I was sick of staying home every Saturday night. So I said "Fuck this, I'm not going to be shy any more." I got dressed up, and I walked the few blocks from my old home to a bar/nightclub and I danced there alone, and amazingly enough, never once was drunk. I learned how to dance from videos and practicing in front of a mirror, and from watching other people at the club. I built up confidence from the desperation of being lonely and deciding that I didn't want my life like that anymore.


After my first ileostmy (the le loop), about two or 3 weeks later, my then-fiance (now husband) and I went out dancing. -------->
Awww. Look how sweaty and gross we look.


Because I have a little bag-holder, I felt like the bag was securely in place, and because I wear skirts right above the top of the bag anyway, I was covered.

You can flail your body about and twist around and spin and do all sorts of things. But what if the bag's full? One of the first places I changed by bag in public was in a nightclub bathroom... may have been this night, actually.

So by now you know how I change my bag... and though I don't get on my knees in front of a public toilet (holey god, eww); I crouch a bit over the toilet and get my spout as close to the edge and as far in as I can, and let it out. You don't hear any splashing or gross noises, and as I always maintain, it is better to do this than sit on the toilet and have liquid feces stream past your naked privates. (UHM... YEAH. TOTALLY ASKING FOR ecoli UTI, THERE. And totally gross too. Seriously.)

These are the outfits I usually wear, whether on the street or in da club.







And this is 2 of my outfits going out, hey heeeyyyyyyy~!


(That's my duct-tape dress-form in the background.)

Really, you can wear what you want based on how much you want to hide your bag. That's really what the ileostomy guides from the hospital should say. They're always like "OHHH-- you can wear whatever you want and whatever you wore before surgery." No you can't, jack-ass. You have to accommodate shit so it shields your bag, yo. Because you don't exactly want to announce to the world that those strange gurgling noises they hear just might be coming from the jutting pink penis on your lower abdomen. "Oh that? that's just my dick talkin. Yeah... good ol dicky, here. He likes to spit up sometimes. Messy little guy."

As far as dancing goes, don't be shy, man. Slosh that bag around. have fun with shit. In terms of bag safety, you might not want to dance with knives or needles in your hands, but that's good enough advice for any dancing, I would expect.

7 comments:

  1. you went dancing 3 weeks after surgery? I'm at 4 weeks tomorrow and a car ride on winding mountain roads was enough to have me in bed all the next day!! (though I guess that was at 3 weeks).

    Also, I can't imagine letting my bag flail around (even if it was well-secured). That thing feels awful when it pulls even a little! Maybe I'm just sensitive still...

    I'm hoping that when I'm fully recovered I'll be able to get back to normal life and normal activities-- I'm just waiting to be able to pick up my kids again!

    ReplyDelete
  2. You are probably still super sensative. I have a high tollerance to pain, but also, I might just heal faster too. Everyone is different. And I was a bit joknig with using the word "flail"... but my bag hodler really keeps it in place, so flailing is never a problem for me.

    You WILL be able to lift and hold your children again, of course! Give your stomach muscles some time to recover, 6 weeks about, and pick them up all they can handle!! Right now, you mgiht have to just settle for crouching down and opening up your arms for them to come rushing into.
    Getting back to a normal life --if having an ileostomy is your only health concern--is really no problem at all. in a year, you will probably forget about this time of recovery, or just go "yeah.. it kinda sucked" but by then, so many other things have happeend and your life just keeps going on so you don't really focus on it. Right now it seems all-encompassing and terrible! But I wish you health and luck!!
    <3 <3
    Tinylittlelifeform<3 <3

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hey! Your blog is really nice. I have an ileo and I go out too ^_^ and we have the same ideas when it comes to dressing to hide that friggin ugly bag. I like peplum dresses and baby doll shirts and high waisted bottoms- I really do miss belly shirts and I'm pretty salty they decided to come back in style after this happened, but whatever. Anyway, thanks for blogging your experiences and reminding me that there are other people like me out there. =)

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