Sunday, October 2, 2011

Surgery Tomorrow--goodbye large intestine!!!!!!

Tomorrow afternoon my large intestine will be cut from my body using laprascope and, at the end to remove it from my body, a small incision along my larger abdominal scar resulting from previous resection many years ago. It will take 5-7 hours (WHAT. THE. FUUUUCK??!!) And at the end of it all, the surgeon will not let me keep my useless removed organ like they used to let patients keep their appendix. :( It's a gross thought, but I  want to see it, I want to see this demon that has ruined my life until this point, I want to come face-to-face with this thing and see it for what it really is. then I will bury it. I wanted to have a little plot somewhere and actually conduct a small service for it, because as much as it tortured my existence, i know it was trying the best it could, and it struggled through pain.

Like I've stated previously, I'm pretty scared about the recovery, and the catheter in my urethritis urethra. The urethral pain has sent me to the emergency room a few times this year, ever since that UTI that never really went away. After all my surgeries, the urethral pain is still the worst. Although, my hope is that they'll have me doped up after surgery, laying in a hospital bed somewhere with a big smile on my face from the heavenly morphine.
For the urethral pain , I've been on Nuerontin/Gabbapentin--and the only thing it really does is make me sleepy or kind of slow, and it's been like this for the entire year I've been taking it. Oh well. After physical therapy, spinal caudal injections (many many times--super ouch, cry) medicines and warmth, I fear for my future, every day of pain filled frustration.

Anyway, so we are spending the evening packing dry Ramen noodles (for Mr B) and individual packages of oatmeal (for him again) tiny cans of V8--for both of us. I know it will be a few days (at least) in the hospital.
so I've packed what I hope is appropiate for the night.
Mr B is worried about what if they dont leave enough rectal stump and the missing large intestine makes my vagina srop and our sex life severy complicated. I am also worried with my urethra in the state its been.

Ugh. Well, I drank too much gin and I'm feeling mighty sleepy.  My time here it's only 8:30 pm. I'm getting to be old people.
Please, if you pray to anyone or anything, please pray for me tomorrow. Pray for my pain to be non-existant, pray that the surgery goes swiftly and without complications, pray that I heal fast. Oh please send me good vibes. I just need to survive, and knowing that there's soemone out there rooting for me gives me a little more courage.

<3 Tinylittlelifeform


  1. Oh for sure Honey! As you know we're already praying for you big time over our way. Am thinking beautiful thoughts about the awesomely beneficial outcome for you... Blessings... <3

  2. like the flower o her head with the human hair extensions,