Halloween Costume with an Ileostomy

FUCK YEAH

This is the very hot and marginally talented Nicki Minaj. When her songs come on, my husband cannot stand the her rapping and flies across the room to slap at the radio controls until the "atrocious sound" is silenced. But her hair is always awesome and her clothes are THE CRAZY and her body is hella bangin. Therefore--it's costume time.

My wig is from:
http://www.wigs.com/product_info.php?products_id=4341
And it's fucking awesome.

I double bra-ed, a leopard print and that weird pink print one, a fishnet shirt with a studded black elastic belt over it, a tiny child's sized swimming skirt (initially bought so I could bag-hide if ever I went swimming) over black "booty" shorts, over blue tights, with rainbow socks pulled up mid-thigh over that.

I'm usually pale as a fresh-found river corpse, so I've been applying self-tanner and bronzer like I lived in Orange Country, California. Or anywhere in Minnesota, basically. I don't normally mind being pale as death. It's just how I'm made, so fuck it. Who cares. Yup. You can see the blue veins through my glass-like skin. Whatever. At least I don't have Multiple Sclerosis, you know? More important things in the world, and if people wanna mock me for being corpse-skinned, cool for them. Personally, I could give less a shit. (Funny enough, but Mr B--my husband--well, his mother kept asking him why I was so pale when we first started hanging out together. Her daughter tans, and her own skin is much darker, so I suppose I was a real jolt to the system.)

Me and my Mr B--he's in his foam-latex mask. Took four hours to apply on him--ugh. No shit. He's seriously into Halloween though. The only sad thing about those masks is that they decompose after a couple of uses (and cost a hundred bucks or more a pop so no small deal) and also he had to SHAVE HIS BEARD to put it on. Very sad. I feel like I'm cheating on my husband when I kiss this clean-shaven stranger. Feels OOooooooogley. :(

OK. So here's my bag hidden underneath the tiny skirt thing. I have it cradled in my bag-holder thingy I made--it's never just hanging without support. It just feels too flapping in the wind--like boobs without a bra.

With one finger, I'm holding out my bag inside it's bag holder------->

 I topped it off with my goofy tennis-shoes and Whatev. Went out Saturday night with this ensemble, will also go on Monday with it, as it's actually, for 2011, Halloween on Monday night. Gross night for Halloween, and all we have around here is bars to club at, but whatever. I got molested by ten or twelve guys last night when we went out like this, but it was all good fun. They were just drunk. You just kind of laugh and remove their hand from your pussy and keep walking. No big deal. of course it incensed my husband, but he's a gentle bear, and easy to tame even when he gets angry about me being hassled.

But I know it sucks trying to hide that bag. But with a little trickery of mini-skirts or clothing folds, you really don't remember it's there unless it fills up. Then---then you empty it. And continue on :)