Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Total colectomy--totally rad?

Next Monday is my total coloectomy, where my loop ileo is going to be made permanent. So much of my time for months has been literally filled with doctors appointments, even for diff stuff than the ileo) that this just seems like another thing, but it's not. I am finally going to be rid of my stupid hateful piece of shit large intestine. I'm glad to be rid of it, but I'm concerned, naturally, about how I'm going to heal.

Bromaline helps with healing, but it only does so much. My Swedish surgeon told me is takes 5-7 hours to perform this operation. (Forgive me for not being as eloquent this time around, but Blogger erased my post without so much as a tiny trace and I'm having to re-do everything right now off what I can barely remember.)
So anyway, any loop ileo will get "Spillover", the redundant stoma sucking up liquid waste into the large intestine just as its been used to doing it's whole existence. It will continue to do this after loop surgery, sucking up waste from the bag even if you are very careful. My surgeon from Sweden was very blase about this as it WILL HAPPEN  to everyone that has a loop, he so said, but my initial Asshole surgeon went so far as to scorn even the idea that it could possibly ever happen. Stupid stupid asshole.
anyway, so that's my problem, and with the total coletomy, this will be less of a problem, but still something to watch for, trying to "express" the contents of my large intestine, as they will leave a rectal stump to hold up my lil vag so sex doesn't hurt.

I am worried about healing and about my husband being able to remain in the room with me, and about swelling and about surgical complications and about getting out of the hospital quickly. Since going to the emergency room for 16 blood sugar, (WTF that ever means, who knows), my heart hasn't been working quite right, so yeah I'm worried.

The picture above is how my large intestine looks now. When i was 17 I had a large intestinal resection, where they chopped it apart and fit it together like so, so I'm hoping that in light of this, the surgery will not take as long as "normals" who don't already have partial intestine missing and an already-in-place ileostomy.

I'm incoherent with worry, I acknowledge this, and also exhausted with having to rewrite this post and not having having any down time since this whole excursion of pain and suffering really began to sink it's claws into me. All I can ask is for prayers and well-wishes, I'm just too scared sometimes to know how to proceed, and knowing, or thinking, that someone else out there is wishing me well gives me the strength to face another minute of this insanity.


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

  4. You've got it Babe - endless doses of our very bestest of wishes, prayer power & healing light sent your way...

    Oh Honey, my heart goes out to you. Please believe me when I say that I truly & totally understand & empathize with how you're presently feeling, hey. On & off since my CD flare up & complications in April of last year, & then when things seemed to have gone terribly pear shaped, I grappled with some ginormous & at time pretty terrifying emo & mental boogie monsters of my own.

    If it can be of any comfort & encouragement to you at all, may I share that following my ileostomy I'm now doing & FEELING amazingly & unexpectedly well! So much so that tests for my stoma reversal are being arranged much, much earlier than expected AAAnd, they're talking about the removal of my Hickman Line! (Quite a turn around from the bleak prospect of the line being long term-ish or, EEEK!, possibly for life! o_O)

    Radical surgery really seems to agree with me (haha) and has gifted me both times with such a powerhouse of energy, vitality & a sense of good health that I'd only rarely & intermittently experienced before. And, oh, the blessing of being PAIN FREEEEE! Such precious things that you too can very much look forward to enjoying in your not too distant future... Yay!

    I can only hope that this brings you some measure of positivity to hopefully aid in calming the mental & emo storm that you're going through.

    Sending Much Love & Big Warm Hugs xox <3

    P.S: So sorry for leaving traces of deleted comments all over the place - I kept trying to merge & condense them so as not to be too long winded. (Although you wouldn't think I'd done so, I know, by looking at my above one! Ooopsie (Sigh) Please forgive me - I'm a comment newbie!)

  5. Omg Pythonette!
    I really hope you DO get your Hickman removed!! Those things are shite!!
    So glad you're feelin so much better--that's beyond awesome, dear. And a stoma reversal? Wow. You're really doing super well!!!

    Ah yes--a day without pain. I don't rmember what that would be like, it seems like a whistful poem ot me. The last time I lived agony free, I was a child, but it gradually got worse as i grew older :(

    And don't worry about the comments! I still can't get this dang things ot recognsie me account. It always puts me as "Anonymous"!! >:(

    Sending warmth your way <3