A no-nonsence explanation of life with an Ileostomy, as told by a foul-mouthed individual with no shame
Friday, July 22, 2011
Second Post-op Surgeon's Visit, and Wedding-dress Shopping with an Ileostomy
I think it goes without saying if you have read my earlier posts, my surgeon was more of a cunt than anyone Ive ever met. I dont have the energy to go into it right now, but I had a test he ordered to "rewnew" my old tests confirming Pelvic Floor Disorder. It was one of the reasons, a BIG ONE, why I had my ileostomy. This was prior to surgery, just to be perfectly clear. So after my second checkup, where I'm still having complications, like that would normally be found from leaving, oh, I don't know--SOMEONE'S ENTIRE LARGE INTESTINE INSIDE THEIR BODY--(complications such as cups of gel-like substance of mucus that turns into hard softballs of tissue because one is unable to eliminate them the normal way, even with enemas, because of aformentioned PFDisorder) my surgeon is just like "Whatever."
My mom takes meticulous notes and even tape records my visits, and prior to surgery, Dr Asshole promised, numerous times, that he would do a take-down of my redundant stoma, making the loop into a regular ileo, and remove my colon. When we visited now, he claimed, just as he had for many things, he never said that, even when confronted with evidence. THAT is the clear sign of a socio-path. Soemone who can just keep on lying in the face of evidence of their own lies. DID. EVEN. GIVE. A SHIT. Just bald-faced lie. So now I have to go throughthe entire process of fidning another surgeon again. oh--there's so much more I could say on this subject and pain and blablabla---but fuck it.
On to DRESSSESSSSS!!! *Jazz hands*
So my dress from the 1940s of antique lace looks ass on me so... blah. I spent hours sewing on it. but it just looks ass. It was only 80 bucks so fuck it. My mom and I made a day of going out to used dress stores, and we found a SIZE 12 one that looked uhm... decent??? on me. Still needs revisions and tailoring, and there's the destinct possiblity I might hate it after anyways since I have sensory probs with the feeling of seams on my sides.
I made a nice little minimalist black holding sling for my bag. I like it. I made myself two like it so far, and always can make more. I fold down the top of my bag--I never use filters, they add extra weight to the bag, bumps under your clothing, and generally don't do shit--and tuck it into the pouchy-pocket harness bag thing I made. WEEEEE. I go out wearing skirts just at the bag line, and so the frills and such blend with the bag pretty well, although I'm not a high out-putter nor do I eat alot to fill a bag realy fast, so that's generally not a problem for me, but my baby-dick-like protrusions of ileostomy are more noticable than anything. But with frilly skirts, it's not too much a prob. Also, I've lazilly warn my back harness pocket thin in public, and people think it's some hipster ironic fanny-pack. Good, whatever you wanna think, world, whatever you wanna think.I mean, worst come to worst, if someone tries to attack me or my man, I'll just yank off my bag and toss it at them. HA! Shit in your face, motherfucker! What d'ya think of that!? They'll never see it coming.