Can I Get Married/ Have a Wedding with an Ileostomy?

Yes.
The thing that most women seem concerned about is what kind of dress they will be able to wear. For myself personally, what I wore pretty much fits in with what I wear normally every day. I wear skirts with elastic bands, and I have that elastic band snugged right above my Ileo stoma.
For my wedding reception/party day, I wore a more 1950's style poofy ballerina-like skirt.

See where the end of the bodice meets the skirt? That's resting just barely above my stoma. Those sheath dresses and slip-like wedding dresses really look good on no one but supermodels, and even they can't always carry it off. So this was more of a natural choice for me anyway, since it fits with my natural style and felt comfortable to wear with my ileo. It was short enough--mid-calf--so I could grab up the end and roll it under to check my bag and do all the nice little toiletries that come along with keeping it clean. You really forget you have a bag at all when you have clothes that mask it/fit well with it.

These are mah nails... and my ring and bangles (none of which got in the way of bag-changing or cleanliness) and rose petals my sister scattered across my skirt for the photo.

My mother in law speaking to me after my "vows/ love-letter to Mr B"

Whilst the vows were read...

Anyway, to re-iterate the answer to the title question: Hell yes you can both court and get married and have the sexual relations with an ileostomy. It's like having a birthmark. Some people are mightily ashamed of it, and refuse to take off their long sleeved shirts or whatever and wherever it might be, ashamed of the birthmark's presence. If you can learn to be like "yeah--I have an ileostomy--so the fuck what?" it ceases to matter. It's also like many heavier girls I've seen at clubs. They are extremely attractive, but many are much too self-conscious about themselves to have fun. Then there are ones that get out on the dance floor and love the fuck out of themselves, because they are fabulous. And if you don't feel fabulous at first, fake that confidence until you have it.

Women have enough trouble with confidence anyway without adding a body-altering complications such as a bag that holds our liquidish waste, but I say why the fuck don't you deserve to go out there and have the time of your lives just because of a medical condition that you have no control over? It is what it is--and who the fuck cares if someone wins your confidence, finds out and then gets weirded out? Fuck em. They aren't worth your salt anyway. Our lives and too fragile and too short to waste time with negative people. Your ileo is there for a reason, likely a life-saving one, and you can be fabulous with it. You probably aren't going to be playing tackle rugby with the boys any time soon, but otherwise, as far as ileostomies go, there is nothing stopping you at all whatsoever from leading a life full of a fuck-more potential and opportunities than you could have without your ileostomy, or, you know, dead.

Anyway, as eating is difficult for me with the strange confusion of my digestion, I didn't eat much my wedding-party night and with how ragged I'd worn myself this entire month getting ready for it (we made all our own food, I sewed my dress, we dj-ed the party, we wrote filmed starred-in edited and created music for a video we made of how we met plus setting up all the things and decorations and blah blah etc) I ended up having a blood-sugar of 16 that night and uhm, narrowly missed slipping into a coma.

So things didn't exactly turn out how we planned, but there's worse. There's always worse.

(And I do recognise this is a really shitty way to end a post regarding weddings.)

New Surgeon/Specialist to the Rescue???

Helloo all.

I have been planning my wedding and dealing with this heath shit and all's seemed a little too crazy around here. We got our marriage licence and officiated it at the courthouse with our parents present.
but we're having the ceremony, like, a big party for friends and family--all that are still here in the united states anyway--in September. That gives me a couple of weeks, but with all the shit that we are doing ourselves for it (budget, you know. Fuck this economy) it has consumed most of our free moments.
I am writing to you all dressed up in my going-to-appointments outfit.

One of my many.

 Anyway, my surgeon, Dr asshole, was like "I give up" in a very rude and horribly offending way to my mother and myself, and my husband, and so we switched over to a pelvic floor disorder specialist. he was the one who helped convinced Dr asshole to give me the ileo in the first place, bless him for that, but he and Dr asshole are butt-buddies, bbf. Butt buddies forever. This is well known in the hospital, and after spending nearly half a year in and out of that place, I have learned to open my ears and eyes to the going ons and relationships there.
well anyway, so we (mom and i) are hoping to convince this specialist that I need to get my large intestine out. omg it has given me so much trouble i don't even want to go into the mother fucking gory details--but it is ruining my life, just like before ileo surgery. Ugh. Dr asshole promised me would do the total colectomy after ileo, then when we asked him about it, he said "I never said that" my mom showed him the notes she took, (not to mention the tape recorder) and then he quickly switched his lie over to "yeah, well... I've changed my mind."
So how much hope do I have to convince specialist to do this surgery? Slim to none. I know if I continue on the way I am now, my husband predicts I will live another 3-4 years, maybe less considering my diet is so poor since my small intestine transit is so incredibly strangely eerily slow (we think there's a kink in it from surgery since b4 when I was tested it was fast.)
I have been tested at Mayo, and everyone there commented on how I have an unusually high tolerance to pain. (and to alcohol, ahem, but they don't know that :)
so when I'm in pain, there is something COMPLETELY FUCKING WRONG.
and this pain of my gi tract? it sucketh mucho. I still eat watery soups w/olive oil for much needed calories, and scrambled egg in the morning, and whipped mashed potatoes. that is all my body can handle. even a few mouthfulls of very soft and well chewed foods take nearly 19 hours give or take to come back out again into my bag. NOT NORMAL. not fucking normal at all.
but despite this, Dr asshole was all like "eh, whatevs." uhm, no. if you were doing someones roof and you just walked away, leaving nails and boards and shit everywhere, that is irresponsible. They would fire you and shoot you as you deserve to be handled, mister butt-face!!!

UPDATE:

Awesome. But still scary. So this specialist was in agreements and my new surgery is in like 2 months!!!  :O Next month is my wedding celebration, the party for our family and friends now that we made it courthouse and legally official. Sooooo.... for this case, I am glad, but also with all the heckticness of what is going on right now with planning and all the stress that involves, this is not a good time to learn about another really hard really scary life altering surgery coming up :( Do not like to be thinking about this at this time :( :(

*Cry*

Clothing & your Ostomy

For wearing clothes, I know it will get easier as swelling goes down, but already nobody can tell I have my bag on and I'm little more than a week out.

So I've been sewing both my wedding dresses, one a 1950s-style dress of antique lace, and a court-house dress of white lace and cotton, for when we hop on down and have it officiated. As I'm Buddhist (yeah I know, a good Buddhist shouldn't be swearing and crass and be all punching-with-fists but it's my nature) and Mr B is Agnostic, we aren't having the traditional wedding experience. We're getting it made official with paperwork at the courthouse, then later in the month, in the early fall, we'll be having a little back-yard ceremony for our like, two friends or something. All our pals are in different countries, and so the few peeps there will be family mostly. Bleh.

Anyway, so I tried on my courthouse dress that I've been pinning and sewing yesterday, and snapped a few photos.

BAM. Look at that sexy Ostomate girl! Ileostomies ain't no thang. This is an awkward position because I'm uber fairy-short and wanted to show in das foto the bottom edging of the dress to Mr B.

I'm still not sure if I'm going to use the blue ribbon or not.

But anyway, that's just an example that you can still look like yourself after an ostomy. I wear skirts anyway, my style is mostly Onee-Gyaru with a touch of Victorian Lolita, but I've found wearing even my yoga pants or leggings have worked fine with this too. Either you tuck the end of the bag down one leg, or you flip the waistband of the leggings down under your ostomies and wafer, let the bag hang over the waistband, and wear the skirt-holder pocket-thing in the previous post to hold it up.